Mother
/Scholar
Academic moms, I see you. In fact I was you. I know you're struggling to balance work and home life. You’re toughing it out to accomplish as much as your childless colleagues while also being an engaged and present mom. You’re stretched too thin and yet it never feels like enough; you feel split in two. Or maybe you’ve managed to set some boundaries between work and family life, but you can’t shake the feelings of guilt or anxiety because no matter what, something gets sacrificed.
You've tried talking about it with friends, your partner, your therapist...
...but the problem is that you’re still trying to operate under an old rubric-–one that equates dedication with the number of hours you’re willing to invest. You can’t possibly succeed under the rubric of the male professor in his tweed jacket with elbow patches, living an unfettered “life of the mind” because he has a wife at home to cook, clean, and raise the kids. You are so much more!
I've lived these experiences myself, and I'm here to help.
Let's rewrite this tired old rubric
You can’t necessarily change your institution overnight, but you can define your values, set your own priorities, and shed the guilt, anxiety, and frustration that you experience daily.
Let’s make sure that your personal rubric puts the right amount of weight in the right places, because working to succeed under a rubric that doesn’t truly reflect your values cannot bring you the balance and satisfaction that you seek.
Rewriting
the
Rubric
Your values, your way
Rewriting the Rubric is coaching for academic mothers who are done grading themselves against impossible standards at work, at home, and in their own heads. Together, we look at the invisible rubric you’ve been living by-–one that demands perfection, constant productivity, and self-sacrifice. Then we rewrite it.
You will learn to define new criteria for success that are rooted in what matters most to you. Through this process you will learn to loosen the grip of guilt and worry, and you’ll begin to feel less stress from the tug-of-war of two worlds which both expect 100% of you.
This work doesn’t erase the pressures of academia or of motherhood. It teaches you how to navigate both with clarity, boundaries, and compassion. You will re-examine the criteria for success in a way that fits your life — not academia’s expectations or motherhood’s myths.
is a package of six 1:1 coaching sessions that will help you feel less guilt and greater satisfaction by truly understanding what you value most and learning how to protect it.
Rewriting the Rubric
It’s not that the work gets easier...but by defining your "non-negotiables" you learn to shift and carry the weight in a way that feels lighter and more manageable. Exactly how you do so will be unique to your priorities, responsibilities, and values. That is where I can help. In coaching sessions we will dedicate time to examining the "rules" you've been living by. Once this is understood you can decide what is serving you and what needs to be set aside. Understanding your “macro” level values will help you make all those daily “micro” decisions with more ease, less worry, and less guilt.
Do you have questions? Please reach out to me at cynthia.krenzel@gmail.com
:
Coaching Sessions
My approach to coaching is grounded in what I describe as "creative co-exploration". I will ask you a series of open-ended questions that help you process whatever struggle you are facing. In this way you will arrive at answers or new ways of thinking that are unique to YOU. Does that sound magical? It kind of is. But I promise you it works. If you need a mentor, need advice on revamping your c.v., or want someone to tell you exactly what to do next, this program is not for you. I will hold up a light to illuminate your way, but you choose the direction and you will lead.
Weekly Check-Ins
The type of check-in (if you even want one) is totally up to you. If you need an accountability partner, I can do that! If you just need to send a quick text about your annoying colleague, or that situation with a student we discussed in coaching, I'm here for it!
Who am I? I’m a person still negotiating the answer to this question. I was a tenured Associate Professor. I was a wife. Then I was a single mother to a young person who is now, legally, an adult person. I was a professional clarinetist and “Doctor of Musical Arts”. I was a midwesterner.
Now I'm a retired Associate Professor of Music, an expat living with my second husband in Switzerland. I'm learning how to parent my trans daughter through every stage of her brave and beautiful life. I am also a devoted dog-mom who has found a love of hiking in the mountains. I am an introvert who has learned the value of connection with others.
Most recently, I am a Higher Ed Coach for other women doing their best to navigate life’s twists and turns. I am infinitely curious and regularly amazed by the transformations that can occur through the coaching process. I am thankful for the fact that I can play a small role in the growth of others, and honored that people are willing to allow me to be part in such a precious and beautiful process.
I am hopeful that anyone reading this far will reach out to see if I can help you find your way through the woods…or maybe to a little cabin in the center of those woods? Only you know your best destination, but some deep questioning can help you carve your path.
I'm also someone who wold love to hear from you, so don't hesitate to inquire about a free 30-minute exploratory Zoom call!